91 Days

I don’t have many updates to share. The last 31 days have been more or less the same as the previous 60 days.

The routine is the same. I stay home. I struggle with mental illness and suicidal thoughts. I continue to strain familial relationships. I get stoned. I watch Doctor Who and play Animal Crossing.

Seth and I have had a lot of hard conversations. Shed a lot of tears. Fortunately, our relationship is as strong as ever. He is and will always be my best friend. I’m so blessed to have him.

I was struggling to get through just the pandemic. You toss in a revolution on top of it and turns out I am not that strong. The deaths of George Floyd, Tony McDade, Breonna Taylor, and the resulting protests broke me a little bit. I’m not saying I’m upset they happened. The protests have always been in the right. Black Lives Matter. Black Trans Lives Matter.

But seeing so many people disregard them because of property destruction. Seeing people I love deeply worry more about property than lives. Seeing how quick people were to dismiss the legitimate concerns because they weren’t presented with a pretty bow on top… I don’t know man, it kind of made me lose faith in humanity. Lose faith in everything.

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